Thinking...

Ok, now its time to get a little deep....
I got some news yesterday, and I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I don't know what to do right now. The offer has come up for me to relocate to Hawaii...
I know for a lot of you, this is really not that hard of a decision. I mean, come on, its Hawaii... But it's not as easy as you might think. There are tons of reasons to go... Anj would be closer to his son, friends and family...I'd be able to pursue freelance surf photography... I'd get to live in a place many people only dream of going to...
But then there's the tragic downside... there's also a ton of reasons not to go... its even more expensive to live out there than in CA... and I've never lived in any place that small (at least none that I couldn't just drive out of) ...
And then the bigger reasons... I know that I'm going to marry Andre, that's not a problem or anything... but to leave everything and everyone that I've ever known... and then, on top of that... I know that moving that far away would just kill my dad...
I mean in a way, he's kind of lost his daughter; now that I have Andre, I don't need my dad to be the hero in my life that he once was... and, if i move, then he'll lose Ethan... I know my dad probably misses us now, but at least we are right there; just a 15 min drive away...
even if he stays in CA, thats still a 5 hr flight... and, with Ethan turning 2 this year, it's going to be expensive to come back home "to the mainland."
I really don't know what I'm going to do right now. I have a lot of thinking to do... but thankfully none of this is definate. It's just a big bomb to drop right now... I'm getting so comfortable, and anxious for the baby, and now this. I just don't know right now...