stuck in a draconian era

It is like in some ways, we have evolved into a new era- filled with high tech gadgets and new philosophies in life. However, in others, we are still stuck in 1957. It's a silly catch 22 that we live in.

Enter moi, from California. I'm going to be a computer major. I am fully immersed in all things geeky on a regular basis. Well, perhaps not everything but a reasonable facisimile thereof.
My life is very different from the norm/today's standard. My husband not only works, but happily takes on the daily tasks of cooking and cleaning for our household. We are not always the happiest, but we get along just fine for the most part. It works for us.

To me, this is mundane. It is the normality in which I live in everyday. But here at home, I get looked at as if I were some sort of foreigner. Yes, in some ways, we still live in an era where this isn't socially P.C.

My mother asked for help yesterday prepareing food and cleaning up for a party. My husband happily obliged her. I'm on vacation... and I don't do these things even at home. I got an earful. How dare I forget my place.

Now, my sister can come and be a guest to this event. She can come late, enjoy the company, and leave without worry or care with getting the same lecture. It doesn't seem fair in my eyes. But this is what is everyday here... at least when I visit.

I'm "my father's daughter." My mother and I don't get along no matter how much either of us try to. She knows my buttons to press. Apparently, I touch hers without even trying.

Every word that I say, is taken negatively. Every word they say is never laced with spite or envy- and how dare I even possibly accuse them of something of that sort either.

I found out that a blog I wrote in venting, was read ages ago. It was on this blog actually. I debated on up and deleting this space, but I believe that this is my personal journals- and reading them is at your own discretion.

So, what if you know what I think of you- don't act like that and then act like a deer in headlights when something gets said. It only makes you look even more ignorant. If the follies of your life upset you so much when they are shown to you in the true colors that you, yourself, are too afraid to face/come to grips with, then that's on you. I only did you a favor. I would be happy if someone did the same for me- spelling out the truth like that. It's a bit of tough love... not like giving you any other love did any good either though.

The reason this is here, and the reasons that I do the things I do, is not neccessarily to be met with the utmost approval of everyone. Trying to please everyone, you please no one. I'm making a resolution to stop trying anymore. It is physically and emotionally exhausting to try and live like that.

This is me. If people don't like it, they can be sure to look away. I know who my pack is... and I love them dearly. If anyone has a prob with me, they can feel free to tell me to my face or write it. I'm becoming comfortable with me now.

It seems no matter what I do... no matter what I say, it's not going to make them think any differently of me. So I surrender. Think as you will. Say as you will. But now the gloves are off and I'm going to level the playing field. I am positively sick and tired of this nonsense.


I'm going to gather that this was most likely read and met with disapproving eyes. In fact, the truth be known, I expect it. It only further illustrates the point of this demonstration.