le sigh

For those of you that read the "other blog" pardon for the repost---

So here I am another day older.. another year of nothing exceptionally spectaular happening other than the birth of my daughter. And where am I? Out doing something exciting? Of course not. It's just another average day. Nothing out of the normal. Yes, I'm just stuck here at home.

Should I give him hints as to what to do? Probably. But then, that would take out half the fun of it... the surprise of it all. Once upon a time he did things like that. Getting flowers was actually an unexpected treat. Things felt less forced.

Lately, that's just what it feels like- forced and expected. And it's not because he does it that often. Yes, he does quite a bit often, but the little things men are "supposed to do" he does with less frequency.
A few weeks ago or so, he bought me some lilies for example. That had to be the first time in a long time that it felt like a surprise.

Did he miss the day in class where they passed out instruction booklets as to some of the nice things that you can do for your woman? I mean, for example, the last time I got any jewelry from him was my engagement ring. Not that I'm asking for tons of jewelry or anything. But what's so difficult about figureing out, especially when I've given him tons of clues in the interum, that maybe a little something like that would be nice. The last time I got flowers? Before Sakura was born.

Why does it seem that if I want something little like that that's not a video game or computer related, that I pretty much have to spell it out and tell him- "hey buy this for me." Before he even gets the hint. Gah! alfhafjf

I'm not trying to come off as materialistic-though from this rant, it may appear otherwise. I mean, don't get me wrong I like nice things.. who the hell doesn't?! I guess that I just always had this fantasy in my head of this way that men were supposed to be... the things that they just were supposed to do if they were in love.... little spontaneous memorable things... perhaps something like Josh used to do all those years back. le sigh So my relationship isn't perfect.

Maybe he's saving it for when we go out to Chicago. Maybe he really did go all out with whatever he got me online. Yes, I know that he did get something already, it just hasn't arrived.

But is it wrong to ask for some acknowledgement other than a happy birthday today from him? I mean something out of the ordinary. If so, feel free to correct me here.

edit-I think I may be developing an ulcer nowadays... the chest pain that I had with my pregnancy hasn't quite completely gone away. Stress related I'm sure b/c of everything that's going on most likely...I know, how lovely is that? Once again, le sigh