The cause of the problem, lies within...
I finally finished the book I was reading. I bought it a couple of weeks ago along with a bunch of other ones. The day they came in, I'd read 4 or so of them. The book I just finished, was called "Grand Central Winter Stories from the Street" by Lee Stringer. It popped up when I plugged in Vonnegut to the site I was buying the books from. I forgot the name of it atm, but it was something like bookcloseouts.com or something. I got the link from another blog entitled "Book Bitches" which should be linked to one of my blogs here somewhere. What can I say, I'm feeling lazy atm. The medication.. or lack thereof rather is just bothering me a bit. But that is a different story- which I will address in a different post.
Anyway, it is a mixed blessing that I am finished with it. It is bordering on a novel and collection of short stories. I can't remember exactly how few of novels have actually managed to maintain my interest long enough to finish. But, it's not a huge number.
The book went fast at the beguinning. It was interesting then I suppose. Like I said, the initial reason it piqued my interest to beguin with, was that it was tagged with Vonnegut's name. He wrote the forward of the book. But that was all.
Still, it was told in more of a casual storylike point of view. It was like listening to a friend tell their story... yet at the same time not.
The reasons why it started to fade my interest though, were due in part to some of the negative contact that I'd had with the theme of the book. The past couple of days were prime examples.
As you will read in the previous blog, I've had to deal with creepy old men. A few of them fit into this street persona- by looks and demeanor.
Today, I was referred to see a dentist by my doctor. No, it's not because of my horrible looking teeth, but by the tie to pregnancy and dental hygeine. Interesting huh? It's something that no one had mentioned to me in either of my previous pregnancies. In fact, I was actually told to avoid any dental work while I was pregnant with my boys. So, thereby affecting when my last visit to a dental office was.
Getting to the point now... it was a relief and get at the same time nerve racking to be going. I got there early to fill out my new patient paperwork. My appointment was supposed to be at 230. Andre had to work afterwards.
I sat down, filled out the paperwork, then returned to my book. Just to get an idea of how long I was waiting- between being in the waiting area and in the back itself... I read about 40+ pages of my book before I was finally to see the dentist. What's worse though, was how much I began to despise the book I was reading... as it seemed the characters in it were overflowing into my own reality.
I know why you try and get as many good referals as you can before seeing any form of doctor. I'm not too familiar with the area here still- despite having lived here for this long. I would think that it would be better in other areas... in other clinics and offices. However, I have come to grips with the sad reality that is the health care system. In a generic summation of my experiences- the standard is to have the expectation that you will receive crap for service as far as any nursing/medical assistantance is conserned (with exception to a hospital setting). The front office people, simply could care less about you. They will change your appointments without care. They will "forget" to inform you about extending waiting periods that are actually with merit. They care less how long you sit there. And, at the offices I have gone to recently, if you are not fluent in Spanish, or look like you don't speak any- your services rendered will actually be even less gracious.
I have come to the conclusion today- that it is not purely by "accident" that clocks are where they are in some of those offices. Today I was seen by the actual doctor an hour after my scheduled appointment. The day before, 2 hours later than scheduled. It is a constant waiting game. They frankly could care less... they know that you have to be there regardless. Thankfully, I'm not working any conventional job right now to have to worry as much about the time. However, it is still, nonethless, just as frustrating.
So here is where I come back full circle about the book. When we entered the office, there were 3 people there. I thought to myself- oh, this shouldn't be too long. How wrong I was, as usual.
So I take a seat by this woman and her two children. This woman is the posterchild to obesity. As huge as she was- there she was just stuffing away one cheeto curl after another. The child next to her did the same. Of course (oh and this is a major pet peeve of mine too) she wasn't closing her mouth when she chewed. I swear, it was like 2 fat cows chewing their cud.
Now, while, in my mind, this was nightmare enough for me to want to make subtle gestures when the child looked at me of closed mouth chewing, it was, sadly not all. The last part was the absolute disgusting part. The smell... it smelled like these people hadn't showered in weeks. It was a pungent, penetrating seaping smell. When the woman got up, it wafted and lingered. I couldn't bear it. And no, it was not just a subtle little toot fluff. It was a "I seriously need a bath desperately" type of smell.
The book was about showing about how horrible it is to live on the streets. It showed the good and the bad. The man who'd wrote it, at the time was on drugs. It painted a "lovely" picture of New York. I suppose, by reading it, the point would be to make you more thankful for what you have. It was written (in my opinion) in a way that would try to encourage people not to "look their noses down" as much at these people. To show that it really was bad at the bottom. Instead it made me not feel as sorry for most of those people on the streets. Reading that, you see that most people seem to do it to themselves. They're out to con, drink, do drugs, prostitute themselves... it's really sad when you think about it.
When I ran into what probably were some very bad off people these past few days- the creepy old men at the office, my cousin's knocked up teenage girlfriend (I didn't blog that here, but I will transfer that one over here later), and the woman with her children today, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Neither one of them seemed to care to make their situation any better. Creepy old guy sat there and complained about his disability benefits not being enough to maintain anything but a studio. Obese lady stuffed away. Oh, and spoke not a word of English at all of course. (But that's another discussion entirely.) Knocked up wanna be gangster teenage dropout girlfriend... well, do I need to enlighten anything on that one? She is leeching off of my other pregnant cousin's kindness right now. Not working. And, as I said, a high school dropout. ...
How do people expect these programs to work- when the people that are needed to make them work, simply chose not to cooperate at all. The root of all that poverty evil, in most cases in my opinion, are the people themselves. At this point, I have long stopped feeling as sorry for them. My patience disappates more and more each day I have to encounter it all. I just wish that I could shut my eyes to it all. I wish that it would actually work in making it go away. I wish people would wake up and realize that they are the ones whose actions dictate weather or not their lives are miserable. Sigh.. ignorance must be bliss. I just wish that I could escape it. You have to love to loathe human nature though.
Anyway, it is a mixed blessing that I am finished with it. It is bordering on a novel and collection of short stories. I can't remember exactly how few of novels have actually managed to maintain my interest long enough to finish. But, it's not a huge number.
The book went fast at the beguinning. It was interesting then I suppose. Like I said, the initial reason it piqued my interest to beguin with, was that it was tagged with Vonnegut's name. He wrote the forward of the book. But that was all.
Still, it was told in more of a casual storylike point of view. It was like listening to a friend tell their story... yet at the same time not.
The reasons why it started to fade my interest though, were due in part to some of the negative contact that I'd had with the theme of the book. The past couple of days were prime examples.
As you will read in the previous blog, I've had to deal with creepy old men. A few of them fit into this street persona- by looks and demeanor.
Today, I was referred to see a dentist by my doctor. No, it's not because of my horrible looking teeth, but by the tie to pregnancy and dental hygeine. Interesting huh? It's something that no one had mentioned to me in either of my previous pregnancies. In fact, I was actually told to avoid any dental work while I was pregnant with my boys. So, thereby affecting when my last visit to a dental office was.
Getting to the point now... it was a relief and get at the same time nerve racking to be going. I got there early to fill out my new patient paperwork. My appointment was supposed to be at 230. Andre had to work afterwards.
I sat down, filled out the paperwork, then returned to my book. Just to get an idea of how long I was waiting- between being in the waiting area and in the back itself... I read about 40+ pages of my book before I was finally to see the dentist. What's worse though, was how much I began to despise the book I was reading... as it seemed the characters in it were overflowing into my own reality.
I know why you try and get as many good referals as you can before seeing any form of doctor. I'm not too familiar with the area here still- despite having lived here for this long. I would think that it would be better in other areas... in other clinics and offices. However, I have come to grips with the sad reality that is the health care system. In a generic summation of my experiences- the standard is to have the expectation that you will receive crap for service as far as any nursing/medical assistantance is conserned (with exception to a hospital setting). The front office people, simply could care less about you. They will change your appointments without care. They will "forget" to inform you about extending waiting periods that are actually with merit. They care less how long you sit there. And, at the offices I have gone to recently, if you are not fluent in Spanish, or look like you don't speak any- your services rendered will actually be even less gracious.
I have come to the conclusion today- that it is not purely by "accident" that clocks are where they are in some of those offices. Today I was seen by the actual doctor an hour after my scheduled appointment. The day before, 2 hours later than scheduled. It is a constant waiting game. They frankly could care less... they know that you have to be there regardless. Thankfully, I'm not working any conventional job right now to have to worry as much about the time. However, it is still, nonethless, just as frustrating.
So here is where I come back full circle about the book. When we entered the office, there were 3 people there. I thought to myself- oh, this shouldn't be too long. How wrong I was, as usual.
So I take a seat by this woman and her two children. This woman is the posterchild to obesity. As huge as she was- there she was just stuffing away one cheeto curl after another. The child next to her did the same. Of course (oh and this is a major pet peeve of mine too) she wasn't closing her mouth when she chewed. I swear, it was like 2 fat cows chewing their cud.
Now, while, in my mind, this was nightmare enough for me to want to make subtle gestures when the child looked at me of closed mouth chewing, it was, sadly not all. The last part was the absolute disgusting part. The smell... it smelled like these people hadn't showered in weeks. It was a pungent, penetrating seaping smell. When the woman got up, it wafted and lingered. I couldn't bear it. And no, it was not just a subtle little toot fluff. It was a "I seriously need a bath desperately" type of smell.
The book was about showing about how horrible it is to live on the streets. It showed the good and the bad. The man who'd wrote it, at the time was on drugs. It painted a "lovely" picture of New York. I suppose, by reading it, the point would be to make you more thankful for what you have. It was written (in my opinion) in a way that would try to encourage people not to "look their noses down" as much at these people. To show that it really was bad at the bottom. Instead it made me not feel as sorry for most of those people on the streets. Reading that, you see that most people seem to do it to themselves. They're out to con, drink, do drugs, prostitute themselves... it's really sad when you think about it.
When I ran into what probably were some very bad off people these past few days- the creepy old men at the office, my cousin's knocked up teenage girlfriend (I didn't blog that here, but I will transfer that one over here later), and the woman with her children today, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Neither one of them seemed to care to make their situation any better. Creepy old guy sat there and complained about his disability benefits not being enough to maintain anything but a studio. Obese lady stuffed away. Oh, and spoke not a word of English at all of course. (But that's another discussion entirely.) Knocked up wanna be gangster teenage dropout girlfriend... well, do I need to enlighten anything on that one? She is leeching off of my other pregnant cousin's kindness right now. Not working. And, as I said, a high school dropout. ...
How do people expect these programs to work- when the people that are needed to make them work, simply chose not to cooperate at all. The root of all that poverty evil, in most cases in my opinion, are the people themselves. At this point, I have long stopped feeling as sorry for them. My patience disappates more and more each day I have to encounter it all. I just wish that I could shut my eyes to it all. I wish that it would actually work in making it go away. I wish people would wake up and realize that they are the ones whose actions dictate weather or not their lives are miserable. Sigh.. ignorance must be bliss. I just wish that I could escape it. You have to love to loathe human nature though.
posted by Scandalous @ 5:41 PM
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