"... And sick always follows tired..."

(That's from Bill Cosby's Himself btw if you're not familiar with it...)
Well! I know I haven't written in awhile, but a lot has been going on. There have been some family issues.. which I will address in another post since thats just another situation entirely.

Everything with Anj and I is fine, I don't want anyone to worry. In fact, we are really just getting ready for the baby. He makes me very happy; I know that he's going to be a good dad to this baby. I really do love him sooooo very much. Any thoughts I may have had about making the wrong decision to be with him over Nathan (because Anj seemed too good to be true) are soooo far gone. Everytime I look at him, I can't help but smile inside. Thank you Melissa, for screwing things up- without you, I don't think the odds of us meeting would even possibly existed.
Ewww what's wrong with me?! O no, I must be sick if I can just spill all this gushy junk about. LOL

So yes, I have been fairly sick all weekend, and really tired before that. I don't know how much bigger I can get.. it doesn't seem like there is much more room in there for him to grow. Some days, I really want Maddox to just get here already. But this weekend, I've been feeling so sick that I pray I don't have him now. This is just the beguining. I know when I get out of the hospital that I'm going to feel like I've been hit by a truck, but I'm going to have to be strong for the kids... especially if I want to try and breastfeed.

Ethan has his days. Some days, he can be an angel. Others, it just looks that way. Like yesterday.... Dad brought over a fisher price desk that he found, so we cleaned it and put it in his room. I let him color some pictures there. Well, sick-stupid-ass me decided to leave him in his room to color unsupervised. (It's funny, because when we first moved into our place, Anj left crayons in Ethan's room "thinking" that he wouldn't do anything. Of course, he drew all over his door and his wall, and I just laughed at Anj. "I told you so.") Well, we were putting him to bed last night, and Anj called me in there to show me that he had done it again. This time, all over the window, and on the wall by his bed... I was promptly told

"I told you so."