a few moments of course

Is all I ever seem to have to blog a day.. I try and keep in contact with most people through im's and things usually on my break. Lately, I have been smoking again. Yes, I am stressed... I know that it must be so obvious. I have alot on my mind now. I don't know what's going to happen with my life. I wish that I could pause and close my eyes... that I magically would know all the answers. But it isn't that easy. Life never is.
I think that there is something deeper there..than just.. "that"... but unfortunately the only way to tell for sure is to let go, and jump in. I don't know if I am ready to take that blind leap. It's a long deep hole... The cliff is high... the choice, a scary one. I feel broken. Everything around me seems to break these days.
Le sigh.. life. My thoughts are a deep abyss.