!!

He said that he just has more respect for me than to have carnal fucking sex?!? What the hell is that crap?

indecisive me... no one is surprised but I'll pretend they are

round and round we go... damnit I'm such a slacker. I have till August to figure out what major I'm going to try my hand at this time, and I'm still a little confused. Talking last nite really made me want to do the whole law thing.. but I still need an undergraduate degree. And, fuck I might as well enjoy that much at least huh?
Damnit.
I was supposed to go down to the tech school here in town and see what the Biotech program is like, but eh. I just don't know. How many of you could picture me in a lab coat working with computers and beakers for the rest of my life? To quote Vick ---you're like a dork's dream date.
Not exactly what I was thinking though. I mean, the whole gaming media scene is a little more my style. And, something I could totally see myself doing.
So, broadcast journalism you say should be my major? If it's one thing that I've learned by being out here.. it's that some professions don't require degrees. It's not about what you know.. it's about who you know.
But then my mind goes in overdrive and I fantasize about traveling the world and taking pictures of gorgeous people... such a dream job. Wouldn't that be grand?
Oh well, a girl can dream can't she?

In the meantime, I spose I have some time to think about things.

jealous petty people joining hands...

Well, I was talking to Josh today when I got another surprising message from someone from my past. This time It was {edited}.
We got to chatting for a bit. (No, he's not the reason for the header.. well not completely of course) Me and {edited} were casual... never dated. I shouldn't have to go into further detail because we are all adults here. I think for the most part, unless you are a paste eater, you should be able to figure it out.
Anyways. It was just odd running into him. Back then, people had called him an asshole. Of course, they were shit talking everyone.
Yes, apparently, while these people were telling me that he was an asshole and an egotistical prick (sorry babe), they were also talking some major shit about me. Why is it that when people are jealous or don't understand/know someone very well at all, they feel this need to compensate? It's pathetic.
Now, right after high school, I'd left for CA. Thanx to dad's job (grrr), I ended up going back to Lockport. Those were the days of George's and late night coffee. I hung out with Robin a lot. Me, Mike, and her were consistent regulars. I didn't really hang out with too many people from that senior year in high school. I was more or less just aquaintences with most of them. Specifically, the ones that me and Vick were both mutual friends with.
So, when he told me this, I wasn't surprised. In fact, I just found it incredibly humorous that people would be so wrong with their presumptions. If they had known me more than that surface level, perhaps it would have been different. Not that I'm losing sleep over them.
But this seems to be popping up more often as of late.
People that assumed things about me, have come back and told me how much of an ass they felt when they realized how things really were. You can call me a pretentious bitch for saying that, but frankly "I don't give a damn." I cease to give a shit what a bunch of losers that have never left- and probably never will leave- the confines of their precious small town life. If gossip is all that they have to make their lives feel more interesting, then so be it. I enjoy being out where I am just fine. Thankfully I have friends that aren't pathetic like them... though a monkey would demonstrate intelligence than most of those iddiots aforementioned out there would.
As I go through the lists of exes now, I feel pretty good for the most part. Even though some ended badly, all but 2 of them have later said that they had either regretted breaking up or something along those lines.
Perhaps it's wrong of me to be proud of this.
The common denominator however though, has been that not one of them (least to my knowledge) has ever walked away- even when it was a bad breakup-saying that they were ever disappointed at the physical part. In fact, the resounding response has been that even though the relationship may not have always been great, they never had a problem in that area. Or, in some cases, that people regretted never having had the physical part with me.
Now, the clause... doesn't necessarily mean it's an open invitation to getting that.
Ah well, I hate to break at this point but, I'm being paged.

his blog
http://morallyambiguous.blogspot.com/

sorry I couldnt think of anything else really witty to add here.. rather, I'm just too lazy. There's more to this story of course, but I'm adding some beer now. I'll update later.

beyond...

Well, fuck. This is really getting beyond ridiculous now. A few stations here in San D played a Spanish version of our National Anthem. It was reworded and of course changed to Spanish. G. W's take on it? Well, hate to break it to all you Bush haters, but I think he had it right on.

In similiar news, I saw that they were trying to make personal possession of drugs (as long as it's small amounts) legal in Mexico. Enter the floodgate of people back there now please...

Btw, hopefully some people will take advantage of all the planned protesting illegals on Monday. I hope there are tons of arrests, and that those protests backfire. If anyone knows of any anti- ILLEGAL immigration protests, let me know (though I doubt anything beyond people leaving my friend's list will be happening).

Hate me all you want, but it's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to.

crazy

Wow... just wow. Ok, so it's been very crazy this week. My sister told me that she was pregnant. (I won't talk about it any further than that) I got back in contact with Josh and Rachel. It's pretty insane. I tried posting about it yesterday when it all happened, but for some reason the posts wouldn't go through.
It's just crazy how things work out. I guess time really can cure.

thank you for the migraine...

Horray! I have a migraine headache now thanks to that wonderful bit of news. I need to vent here. If the person in question needs/wants to argue or something about me writing this, then so be it. I guarantee that I will win when you compare things completely.
This is going to be brutally honest. Since I have to keep my mouth shut for the most part when I'm around. But, it's my blog, and I'll blog what I want to. Don't say I didn't warn you... this isn't nice at all.

I know why exactly you got married now.. you really only wanted a child so that you wouldn't be alone. I could understand not wanting to be alone and wanting a child.. but getting married to resolve those wants was not the best idea.

You settled. Or, well, maybe you didn't. But your lack of self esteem only helped you land who you did. If you would've just have a bit more confidence in yourself, you could've most likely landed yourself someone better. Instead, you just wanted to pick off the same tree your ex was on- so that you could have your "last name spelled" the same. In a way, I feel sorry for you.

Yes, I had a child out of wedlock. Yes he ran. Yes, I had to have help from family. Note- the family that did help wasn't who will end up helping you. No, I'm sure you will have more there ready and willing to help.. you've thrown many a pity party to make it so. I did some stupid things back in the day, so I can understand why they didn't help before. And, in all honesty, I'm glad that they didn't. It has only made me stronger.

You can try and use the circumstaces with that first pregnancy against me all you like. To this I will respond- at least I never had to go amoung family to get someone.

Yes, I was messed up back then. You have been with your husband (dateing + marriage) for how long? But yet, he hasn't done much to change in that time. Yet, miraculously, I, with some effort (something your husband gives plenty of excuses not not to do), was able to overcome it. Of course, once again, I know that people still will not overlook my past- yet your husband and you will be able to get away with murder. Life is amazing sometimes. Note the sarcasm.

Despite any response you can try and make about my past- there are actually people (when they open up their eyes) that see it has only made me a better and stronger person. But your weaknesses... you allow them to be exploited. Are you really that desperate for someone to love you? Or, someone to love?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you are finally able to have a child. I sincerely hope and pray that it goes as well as your oblivious mind would like to think it is.

It upsets me a bit that you wouldn't even consider to ask me for advice. It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to children... or even a difficult pregnancy. But go ahead and ask your shitty friend that's having her first pregnancy. I'm sure that she knows more than someone with 3 children. Again, note the sarcasm.

Your husband.. is... to put it politely... a bum. No, I take that back. At least some bums hold signs and actually make some money. True, I don't have a job either- by choice of me and my husband. But, in an emergency, we will be fine- because we have much better plans in case that ever happens- ones that will actually work. I have no problems going out there and getting a job if I wanted. Or, at least making an effort to try and get one. Yes, this is where you complain about his physical problems that hinder him. I will reply- I've seen retarded people (no offense to them) that were able to hold jobs... even if it was just at McDonalds. But, apparently, your husband can't even do that.

The fact that you practically deceived that insurance company disgusts me. You and I both know that his condition was existing prior. Of course, since he didn't make an effort to go to a doctor, I love how you shafted the other person's insurance company. Maybe someday you will see how shitty that action is. Maybe you won't. I think, you just don't care.

I think your husband is irresponsible. It's comforting knowing that he will be taking care of the baby while you are at work supporting his bum ass. I swear, he has it made. He gets the benefits of the physical + all expenses paid. I don't know of anyone that has it better than him. Congratulations, you're a doormat.

But, hopefully, you will have a child. You will get that one thing you always wanted. The one main thing, that it seems now more than ever, that you were envious I had. I know my children are not the only thing.. but if you would like to have a sit down chat compareing marriages and lifestyles, be my guest. You will be vaporized.

Until then, thank you for the migraine headache. It's exactly what I needed right now. And congratulations.

jokes

Worth posting on here too I suppose. Buncha jokes, some funny, some dumb.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
You get to meet new people every day!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They've got boyfriends already.

What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of tits in there!

Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation?
Strapadictomy.

How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.

How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!

Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.

What is the definition of making love?
Something a woman does while a guy is boning her.

What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump kin!

Why do men like blowjobs?
It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight!

What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
No-one to talk to during an orgasm! (Oh, God!)

What's worse than a cardboard box?
Paper tits!

What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A conga line in an old folks home!

What's the best thing about a blow job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off and the other was assassinated.

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to
the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get shit-faced?"

bleh

Grr, Myspace is being stupid. It's taking forever and it's not my computer. I wasn't letting me login, then it gave me an error message. But what can you expect for free I guess.
It's early. I have no clue why I'm awake. But I feel pretty blah anyway. I may play a game of golf or sit on my Playstation for a bit. I'm not sure. The book I was reading this week made me fall asleep it was so boring. And, it didn;t touch on something I think was important to their subject. I'll drop that one back at the library along with the adoption one that didn't help either. Oh well.

John called yesterday. He's bored over there in IL. He just wants to get out of there. Can't say that I blame him. He graduates in a month. Then he's free to do whatever he wants. I'm thinking that he may come here or to dad's. Either way, it would be nice to have him nearby. The kids really miss him. I know that it's the same on his end too.

I don't know if the doctor is just going to tell me that he wants to go ahead with the csection or not tommorrow. I'm a little worried. I've never had to have a c-section before, nor the drugs involved with that sort of thing. Dave told me that they may use an epidural when they perform the c-section. I'm not thrilled about that possibility.

Well, I think I'm going to try and get the rest of my digital full today just in case I need all that room tommorrow. Who knows? They may induce me or they may just cut me open... or, they may just tell me to wait until my due date and see. 9 days and counting till then...
If I could have the option not to have her on the 20th though, I'd really be happy about that. Ok, well, I have to brush Maddox's hair now. He woke up and looked like a caveman (yes I got pictures), but I would rather get some of him looking cute otherwise. I should be home today, but I have an early appointment with the doctor tomorrow.

rallying

I guess there were rallies all over San Diego today and the country that were both pro HR4437 as well as the usual against. Andre drove downtown the other day and saw some people protesting. I was just happy to see something about the people for the bill that passed in the House instead of the usual bitching about it. Damn, I wish I had been there.

Interesting theory

Well, Andre was talking to our friend Kevin about the possibility of trying to find a house living arrangement. Kevin is sick of singing the "roommate from hell" and the "all I want for dinner is Ramen" blues. So, Andre brought up where we were looking the other day when we went to Ikea. It turned into a little discussion about how we have been talking about what we would want eventually. I really would like a bigger place (especially if John Paul was to come out here to live, it would just be more convienent for our growing family). But, on the other side, I want a dog. Really, pets in general would be a great thing for me. I miss mine. I haven't had a dog since I was a kid, and I know the kids would love one.

So Kevin said, that's fine. He mentioned wanting to get a ferret. (Andre and I considered getting one ourselves actually too). But, then I read that it was illegal to have them in California. Andre told him this and this was Kevin's response...
"Well, if they can allow 11+ million illegals here, I'm sure they can handle a ferret."
I was laughing my ass off when he told me. That was just classic.

mr president, I'm headed to mexico

Got this email from my cousin today, and just HAD to post it. It's sooooo true. I may even post it to myspace, but I'm not sure. It may offend some people. Still, I find it HILARIOUS!!!





MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO



Dear President Bush:



I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to Ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.

Blame it on the...

did you see that crap blog of note? gah... "Blame the white man." When are people going to actually figure out that those types of arguments and comments just really need to die. I'm seriously sick of hearing the excuses, yes, they are just excuses, that all the problems of African American people are all "my fault." If you have a problem with me, go ahead and say something. If I have a problem with you, you can be sure that it has nothing to do with the color of your skin. If that was really the case, I'll be bitch enough to say it to you.
People wonder why the stereotype exists about "ghettoness" and all that jazz. It's comments like those that make the stereotype not a stereotype. If you do not act a certain way, assume that you will be pidgeonholed into a classification.
I know some would say that because I said this, I have no class either. At this point, I don't give a shit. I am comfortable enough with my friends and peers- a melting pot that they are. I really just didn't appreciate that bullshit comment. "Blame it on the white man..." What about "Blame it on the person that named you that ghetto fabulous name" or "Blame it on whoever told you that Ebonics was actually a language" (sad to say that one is a fact according to one high school I went too- absolute rubbish IMO).. the list goes on. I think I have made my point. Like it or leave it, I could give a fuck.

...Horrible

Wow does that make me look bad.. but I will have to admit, alot of that is true =X

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

film geek

I've dabbled in film writing actually... but eh, idk. Not a surprise either.

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Major major

This one, I'm not really surprised about. Ironically as it were, I have wanted to dual/triple major in multiple catagories below. Now,the hard part is narrowing it down a bit on there.... grrr

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

Krispy Kreme>>>Dunkin Doughnuts

Now, I can't quite put my finger on who, but someone has been mentioning doughnuts a lot lately. So, when I ran across this quiz, I just had to...
+)

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

Look mom, I'm pop... art that is...

Who Should Paint You: Roy Lichtenstein

Larger than life, your personality overshadows everyone in the room A painter would tend to portray you with a bit of added flair!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Smarty Pants

All-Around Smart You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain. 20% applied intelligence 20% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com